If you have recently gone through a season of difficult change or loss and you're, feeling cut off from the people and places that you love, this may be for you.
At the end of 2015, my husband and I both lost our jobs on the same day. We felt that this was not a coincidence and that God had greater plans for our lives. We diligently sent out hundreds of resumes, and we each had about one dozen reps. We felt we were in great shape. We learned how to navigate around the online job-search robots and networked with our community of friends. To our great dismay, all doors closed. Not one rep came through with, even a couple days of work. With each of us having over twenty years experience in our industry, we couldn't land one interview.
“It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions - especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief."
Debbie Ford
Our unemployment was expiring. With mounting bills and heightening emotion we decided to find a lesser lifestyle so we wouldn't lose our house and everything in it. We started the resume process across the U.S., and after a long study of cities, we moved to a state that gave us the most positive bites on our resumes. Taking a loss on our home, we moved from the beach to the mountains by faith!
Moving from zero feet to 5,000 feet posed many challenges. Unfortunately we moved in the middle of a snowstorm. The first thing we bought was a snow shovel. I actually didn't know how to shovel snow! Our wardrobe wasn't suited to the mountains. I was sick all winter, cold and frequent body fevers. Warmth couldn't find me under a pile of blankets. And our cars weren't winter-worthy. My little beach car couldn't hold a slushy road. I cried every time it snowed which was everyday. The depth of loss became very real. Fear and depression were debilitating. My amazing relationship with my husband was strained. We became strangers to each other. I grieved my work family, my friends, church, the warm sunshine, the beach... my list grew everyday.
There were no breakthroughs, only loss. I prayed and heard nothing. I yelled and cried out to God with no response. Did I hear wrongly about moving away? Is this the final battle where we lose everything? I imagined us living on the street in an ice-cold environment. We couldn't get a loan for a house because we didn't have any income. So all our savings became depleted to get into this new home. And what we had left was flowing out like a hemorrhage with nothing to purge the wound. Old triggers came to the surface with poor coping skills and our lives felt like we were in a continual down-spiral.
But God heard my heart and confirmed our move. One day he brought me to this scripture below. To travel to our new home, we literally crossed a river called Jordan, into a valley of mountains surrounding us. The number 11 has always meant transition for the Jewish nation. We were indeed in a time of heavy transition.
Deuteronomy 11:11
But the land that you are going over (crossing over the Jordan River) to possess is a land of hills and valleys, which drinks water by the rain from heaven,
(ESV)
The Lord then gave me a riveting vision. I felt I was in my body but not in my body. The Lord told me that He wanted to show me the, "House of Snow." I was transported to a place that was cold and icy. I stood in deep snow on the edge of a forested area. I was looking at a deep foggy crevasse. It was snowing so desperately that there was no telling where the ground actually stopped or if there was another side across the valley from where I stood. The Father told me, "Not all places in Heaven are like Hawaii, Lynn!" Ok - that made me stop immediately. He had turned my focus! I unconsciously thought that all the heavenly places I had imagined were gentle trade winds and flowing palm trees on a crystal clear ocean. I laughed for the first time in years. As I stood in the House of Snow, I felt the cold in my spirit. The temperature was bone-chilling and it was unlike a cold I would ever experience on earth. I felt that if my flesh stood here, I would crack and explode within seconds. This was not a place for the weak of heart. The Father reminded me that he used the Holy Spirit in the form of water - as a metaphor - in interpretations of dreams and visions. So this also translates to snow and ice. I looked through the window of my new house. I realized I was completely surrounded by snow... and the Holy Spirit.
"Asking God to use you, change you and make you new can deliver unexpected results. There is a great possibility that he will answer your prayers in the way that crushing you will produce new wine."
Lynn Mattina
I was reminded that our seasons can be incredibly difficult and sometimes treacherous. But God is faithful to move us into places of awe and wonderment for his glorious purposes and for our betterment. I encourage you to look at where the Lord has moved you through your seasons. Think about how you've been trained, the wisdom you have gained and the lessons you've learned. If nothing is a coincidence and everything has a reason, then look for the reasons to where you are now. Has your recent history of loss cost you everything? What was the purpose of this season for you? If it's too fresh for you to think through, then consider God creating something new for you. Consider that being crushed will make new wine. Maybe you've asked to be used by God in your prayers? Have you ever asked him to change you and make you new? There is a great possibility that he is answering your prayers, but not in the way you might ever expect. He may be moving your stage into a new season for strategy. Watch God and see what he will do next. As you move through each day, you know that God has not forgotten you and will never ever leave you. Never is a big word! If your feeling overwhelmed, really raw and can't find your feet, please contact me.
Hebrews 13: 4-6
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
(NIV)