• Lynn Mattina

Choosing to Live

Updated: Sep 10, 2019

So many people come to me saying that life is so hard, and they have decided that suicide is the only alternative. Or maybe you're telling me that a situation is so difficult to maneuver, that it's just easier to give up. Sound serious? It is! What if I told you that I might have an answer that you've never thought about? If this sounds like you, then read this blog.

Did you know that you actually have to choose to live? No one gives us a book on how to push through our lives when it gets overbearing. Our fragile house of cards will come tumbling down no matter how hard we try to control it. In fact as hard as we try to control our lives, downspirials are inevitable. Many times it's easier to just quit—especially in the midst of great loss and trauma. But God gave us our lives to live with joy. How does joy evade our very existence?

Nehemiah 8: 10

He continued, “Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don’t have anything: This day is holy to God. Don’t feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!”


The Joy of God?

When we move into a difficult place in our lives, this scripture just doesn't make a lot of sense. It took me years to figure this out. When there is lack of joy there is no strength, only weakness. Depression can be so debilitating that we lose sight of where our emotion began. Joy is such a fragile place! It seems to run from us almost as soon as we touch it. It can cause fear and dread as well. We know that we know that whenever we feel joy that it won't last and pain is sure to follow. That place of fear really works in destroying who we were created to be!

The fact of this scripture is that God sees the big picture of you. He created you and knows your yesterday and tomorrow. He tells us that he won't give us anything that we can't handle in our lives. But that doesn't feel true in many of our seasons. When we are in this darker place, we hear a lot of thoughts come to us. We can choose to agree with them or throw them out. I went through a really dark season of my soul where joy and the light seemed unattainable. Some of my thoughts were, "You should end it all, it would be a lot easier. No one likes you anyway. If you die then it will be easier for everyone! If you die then you won't have to feel this pain anymore. You're no one! God made a mistake when he made you." Some of this sound familiar? The darker voices that come to us speak loudly. So we tend to listen and agree. We think it's our voice and our individual situation but whatever is bent on your destruction... it always comes from a dark source.

2 Corinthians 10: 3-5

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,


Sound scary? You may be saying, "But Lynn, this is just me. It's who I am. It's not anything spiritual. I'm just cursed! How can that be true for me?" It's like a broken record that plays in our brain every second. It is always bent on our destruction. Why? Because God loves you. That's really the only reason for the dark voices to be successful. Crazy right? Because God loves you, that's really the only reason the dark realms try to destroy you. So think about what you're agreeing with...

When I pray for my clients, I've had so many dark spirits come and tell me about how badly they want to destroy them. "Because God loves them," is the top answer. Think about this... God has a great life in store for you. He has a huge destiny that involves helping those around you in pain. But if you don't get to your destiny then the enemy camp wins. That means others won't heal and it will make the darkness stronger. If your asking, "Why me? There is no way I'm important to God" ... Everything you have walked through up until this point today has been for a reason. You have been in training and will remain in training until the day you die. (That means you haven't failed!) But you don't stop here. Your calling will continue in heaven and if you live in the Millenium then your skills will become an asset there as well. No one does what you do as well as you can do it. God made you with a high degree of creativity. Remember that you were a spirit, then God breathed your spirit into your body. When you die you will become a spirit again.

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.


God bought you with a price. He owns you! You do not belong to yourself but to God. For many of you that is a great comfort. That God has everything in control. But for most of you reading this, that thought can be really annoying because of certain life circumstances that are being allowed. Yes God created all of these emotions in you. But emotions can be irrational. So are you choosing to live a destructive life? Or has life itself gotten out of control? Sounds pretty sobering! Weather you know God or not, he still owns you. He created the cross so that you could be redeemed. Not so that you could die and escape this season. He gave you life so that you would live.

God created the cross because he didn't create us to be perfect people. That may be a huge revelation for some of you. You were not made to be perfect but beautifully imperfect. We sin and make mistakes everyday. We make bad choices, we are weak. If God made you to be perfect then you wouldn't need the cross. And congratulations! You would be the only perfect person made in all of history and creation! Since God can see the whole blueprint of you, then he knows your thoughts and your heart. He understands your desires and every struggle that has touched you. He knows your past, your future and your right now. And you know... there is grace in every step you've taken. It's ok.

If he gave you life and if your life belongs to him, then you don't have permission to take it away. You have permission to let God use you in whatever capacity he may. If that sounds impossible, I want to ask you if you have allowed God into the deeper parts of your heart? For many of you I hear you saying, "Yea but there is a trust issue there!" Remember that God is the kindest person you could ever know. If you think he is angry, mean and unapproachable, then consider if you're really communing with the right god? If he gave you life then there must be something better than what you're experiencing. There must be something better!

With such deep grief there is always a root. Can you identify the roots of your despair? If you take a few minutes and think about it... you will find it. The times in our lives when we feel the greatest amount of love are the times we function better, no matter the circumstance. Some of life-examples that cause a downspirial may look like this:


  • Loss of a loved one (pets included)

  • Loss of a job

  • Hopelessness

  • Collapse of a marriage, or close relationship

  • Harsh words that felt true to your ears or bullying

  • Maybe someone from your early years continually made you feel bad about yourself

  • Failures

  • Fears

  • Communication breakdowns with loved ones

  • Drugs, prescription or other

  • Loneliness and isolation

  • Feeling a lack of love

  • Have you stopped achieving your goals?